Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Managing Conflict

Barrington H. Brennen, MA, NCP,
 By Barrington H. Brennen

When conflict gets in our way it really messes us up.

True, some kinds of conflict we cannot avoid. However, effective management of the conflict is what’s most important.  Conflict need not escalate into vitriolic or belligerent behavior.  Conflict need not reach the point of physical confrontation of any kind. 

In intimate partner relationships, conflict can be ugly, but it does not have to cause life-long pain.  In the book Empowering Couples by Dr. David Olsen, he outlines five conflict resolution styles especially in relationships.  Here they are:

First, are the PURSUERS.  These are those who seek to create connections so they can become more intimate and closer. Because talking and expressing feelings is important to them, they tend to feel rejected by their partner if the partner wants more space. When the partner . . . in their lives withdraws, pursuers will tend to pursue more intensely."  Read more >>